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And Now This: Old Dudes Hold Squash Tournament on 7 Continents in 7 Days

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I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’m the most apathetic person you’ll ever meet. I’m not certain if this is because I genuinely don’t care about things or if the dual nature of my Gemini mind makes it hard for me to develop convictions about one specific cause, but seriously, ask me about my strongest opinions and I’ll look at you with dead eyes and say “whatever” before slipping into an eyes-open nap. That’s why stories of extreme devotion to a cause like this one make me scratch my head – I literally cannot fathom feeling so passionately about anything, let alone a sport that involves slamming balls into a wall.

Here’s the scoop: Peter Nicol and Tim Garner are former professional squash players who are super pissed that squash isn’t on the list of events for the 2020 Summer Olympics. In order to draw attention to this injustice, the duo has set off on a week-long trip that will take them to all seven continents where they’ll face off in rousing, successive squash matches. I’m sure they’re breaking some sort of Guinness record for this stunt, I’m just not sure anyone cares but them.

They’ve already crossed the midpoint of their journey, having played rounds in the Falkland Islands, Santiago, Sydney, and Kuala Lumpur. As of now they’re tied 2-2, but there’s plenty of time for tiebreakers in Cairo and London on their way to their final match in New York City this Saturday. And if the Falkland Islands stop seems out of place to you, that’s because it is (the islands are technically part of South America, not Antarctica). You don’t need to win any geography bees on the path to becoming a pro squash player, it seems.

While their sheer determination has blinded them to the fact that circumnavigating the globe probably won’t make a difference in the eyes of the apparent squash-haters on the Olympic committee, the trip is not for naught – the “challenge” is raising funds for two charities selected by Nicol and Garner as well as several local projects in their stopover cities.

But seriously, guys… why?



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